With a Will

Ever felt like there's something that God is probably trying to tell you and you can't deny it because it pops up all over the place? Like He's trying to get our attention. It's as if He just keeps showing it to me in different yet undeniably similar ways until I finally realize that He really is speaking (even if indirectly). I had yet another experience like that this month. And since these types of blog posts really end up being something of a personal devotion, it seems like a good place to talk about it.

I've been going through some tough things the past month or so. Don't get me wrong, God is good. I am so blessed. But like anyone else, I have my issues - things with which I struggle. In particular, lately the Lord seems to be addressing with me the issue of my will.

Over the past few years I have been reading (though off and on) The Christian's Secret of A Happy Life by Hannah Whitall Smith. It's so rich, such a spiritual feast, that you can only read a little bit of it at a time. I picked it up again a few days ago. A much marked-on piece of notebook paper (acting as a bookmark) was placed in a chapter titled "Difficulties Concerning the Will." In that chapter the authoress talks about how when we feel lost and helpless, like we'll never be able to totally surrender this or that to Christ and His keeping and His perfect plan, therein lies the problem. What we feel we can or cannot do or aren't doing correctly or whatever the case may be doesn't matter as much as what we WILL to do. It's what we choose to do. I don't know how many times I've said to my mother, "But it doesn't FEEL like I've [insert spiritual/emotional struggle here]." Whether surrendering something to Christ or any other issue...Emotions are not always totally truthful, especially in tricky, intangible areas such as surrendering things to God. Let me show you some clips from Hannah Smith's book explaining what I mean.

"And now, dear Christian, let me show you how to apply this principle to your difficulties. Cease to consider your emotions [in such spiritual uncertainties], for they are only the servants; and regard simply your will, which is the real king in your being. Is that given up to God? Is that put into His hands? Does your will decide to believe? Does your will choose to obey? If this is the case, then you are in the Lord's hands, and you decide to believe, and you choose to obey; for your will is yourself. And the thing is done. The transaction with God is as real, when only your will acts, as where every emotion coincides..."

"When, then, this feeling of unreality or hypocrisy comes, do not be troubled by it....Only see to it that your will is in God's hands, that your inward self is abandoned to His working, that your choice, your decision, is on His side; and there leave it. Your surging emotions, like a tossing vessel at anchor, which by degrees yields to the steady pull of the cable, finding themselves attached to the might power of God and by the choice of your will, must inevitably come into captivity, and give in their allegiance to Him..."

However, that is not to say that we are to ignore all emotion. Thank God for emotions - they were created by Him and are a gift to us as beings created in His image. However, I don't always understand them and they don't always seem to know what they're doing.

Much in the same way, Smith says we still have a will.

"But do not let us make a mistake here. I say we must "give up" our wills, but I do not mean we are to be left will-less. We are not so to give up our wills as to be left like limp nerveless creatures, without any will at all. We are simply to substitute for our foolish, misdirected wills of ignorance and immaturity, the higher, divine mature will of God. If we lay the emphasis on the word "our," we shall understand it better. The will we are to give up is our will, as it is misdirected, and so parted off from God's will, not our will when it is one with God's will; for when our will is in harmony with His will, when it has the stamp of oneness with Him, it would be wrong for us to give it up."

A few days after reading this, I found the following quote on a friend's Facebook page.

"...the heart set to do the Father's will need never fear defeat." --Elizabeth Elliot

Anything is possible with God - never more so than when our hearts are totally given over to Him and His will.

And finally, during a sermon that I listened to online (we had been traveling that particular weekend), our pastor spent some time discussing our will and God's. He said that "God's will is inevitable..." (not talking about predestination versus free will - that's a different topic for a different time). Continuing, he explained further; if we keep our focus on Christ, if we keep Him in the center of our lives, if we are surrendered to Him, then we can just watch and see God's fulfillment of prayers and pleas, dreams and hopes...In His perfect timing, and in His perfect way.

In the Meantime...

I've been working on a post that is quite a bit more substantial than this one - in fact I started it Thursday and have been adding to it and editing it over the weekend...Hopefully I'll complete it to my satisfaction in a few days. In the meantime, however, I thought I'd share this music video with you. It's an absolutely amazing arrangement of two very popular songs combined into a beautiful piece for piano, cello, and percussion (mainly).





I am definitely getting the piano sheet music for this when he releases it. :-)

A bit of photo-journaling and potpourri

Hello again! I'm back! Hopefully y'all are still here, too...Get ready for a fairly "casual" "life update" post.

Wow, has it really been over a MONTH since I updated this blog last? Ugh, that's awful. I apologize! Let's see...Yes. The day after my last post, I went with my dad to visit JBU for a few days. I believe I suggested that I might have some pictures of it for you, too. Well, I was kept so busy during my short visit there that I didn't really have a lot of time to take pictures - and when I did have time I was busy recovering from all the talking necessary over the course of the day. LOL I was pretty exhausted by the end of it. But it was a lot of fun, and my dad and I did get a few pictures during/after the tours and such.

The Art Building (which is of course where most of the Photography classes, computer labs, dark room, etc. are located) - Picture taken by Daddy

The Clock tower; to the left is the Walker Student Center (this photo also taken by Daddy)

The campus and surrounding town were filled with these lovely dogwood trees, which were in full bloom...That's the Admissions building in the background (This photo was taken by me ;) )

During the first couple weeks of May, I had a huge annotated bibliography paper assignment due (imagine doing 7 essays ABOUT 7 literary critisizm essays), a huge final exam (the final for the other class was canceled - Praise the Lord!), my birthday and that of Ajoyfulheart, and Ajoyfulheart's graduation ceremony (at which I was the pianist). Even though there were only ten graduates, there were quite a few people that attended - the graduation ceremony was put together by the local homeschooling group, of which our family is a part.


So then, the past few weeks my family has been recovering from those incredibly hectic few weeks. And I have been working. And searching. And working. And doing some more researching. And Daddy has been helping me search. I'm getting caught up on the transcriptionist work (yay!). What does the transcriptionist work have to do with the "searching" I just mentioned, you ask? Well, I'll show you.



I finally bought a car! Yes, I "bit the bullet" and bought a car. And I'm paying for it all - without loans. I'm determined that if one simply does not buy what one cannot afford, then one can easy avoid debt (except in extenuating circumstances). My daddy told me which particular model he preferred that I purchase (for safety reasons, mostly, especially since I'll be doing some long-distance driving), and then he helped me find one that I could afford and that I liked. (Isn't my daddy great?) It's used, but in very good condition over all and it had low mileage...And it's a pretty color, too (it rather matches the blue in my blog! LOL).


So, I'm a happy girl. I wasn't sure about that particular model of vehicle at first, but I'm already getting sort of attached to my car. ;-)

By the way, have you SEEN the insurance for drivers under the age of 25? Ugh, it's ridiculous. *sigh* Oh well, enough of that. I am blessed. VERY blessed.

I know that many of you are probably finding yourselves with a lot of work to do - whether school or job related - so I thought I'd share this with you. I found it on my mom's computer in an Outlook "note" while we were working on something completely unrelated. It encouraged me, so I thought it might encourage you.

"Thank God every day when you get up that you have something to do which must be done whether you like it or not. Being forced to work and forced to do your best will breed in you temperance and self-control, diligence and strength of will, cheerfulness and content, and a hundred virtues which the idle will never know." ~Basil Carpenter

:-)

THE ginormous-est political post...so far. :P

"You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. You cannot help small men by tearing down big men. You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. You cannot lift the wage-earner by pulling down the wage-payer. You cannot help the poor man by destroying the rich. You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than your income. You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred. You cannot establish security on borrowed money. You cannot build character and courage by taking away men's initiative and independence. You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves."

-Rev. William J.H. Boetcker


"You don't make the poor richer by making the rich poorer."

-Sir Winston Churchill


The economy is not a toy with which to play around; when you interfere with the "free market" by pumping in trillions of dollars that have no backing to them, the "toy" is going to break - backfire. When you tax the American people beyond reason and without representation, they will stand up to oppression. This was demonstrated in 1773 at the Boston Harbor, when a large crowd of colonists dressed up as Native Americans sneaked through the town and gave the "Boston Tea Party" in protest. On April 15, 2009, hundreds of thousands (or perhaps even millions) of Americans all over the country gathered together once again to protest the same things as those at the Boston Tea Party on that cold December night; nominally, exorbitant taxation, and without representation. (TEA: Taxed Enough Already) But in reality more than this - they protested general governmental oppression that has been attempted more and more (recently including ridiculous spending by Congress and the presidents - of both parties).

Vox Populi. Voice of the People. The American people are determined to be heard and heeded by the government, and the government had better listen.

My family attended one of the local Tea Parties on Wednesday. It was the first major political activity in which we have participated (other than elections and such); the protest was peaceful, bipartisan, fun, and it was encouraging to know how many people are so emphatic about these issues that they are actually willing to spend time at a protest! The particular rally that we went to anticipated approximately 500 attendants or so and ended up having over 5,000.

Here are some pictures from the "TEA Party" (You can click on the pics to enlarge them):

^^That one and the flags in the previous picture were some of my favorite banners from the TEA party. :)

And here is a link to a video from FOX News covering some of the Tea Parties - FOX News was pretty much the only Media organization to cover them from an even slightly balanced viewpoint. The liberal news companies made fun of these grassroots protests. (I tried embedding it to the post, but it was wanting to install a non-existent plug-in...Any ideas? Mada? It's a Facebook video.) Also, below is a "trailer" for the San Antonio Tea Party - that's not the one we attended, but the trailer almost gives you chills and gets the message across. (BTW, for a background on the "Don't Tread On Me" flag, see this link - the concept was introduced by Benjamin Franklin.)



Last, but not least, I would like to give you a warning issued by the Department of Homeland Security. Based on what I know of all my readers, I would caution you that you are most likely officially an "RWE" - a Right Wing Extremist, and therefore labeled as a possible threat to the United States Homeland Security. Don't believe me? Well read this article. I'll give you some examples from it. If you:

-Believe in any restrictions on abortion (including just limitations on taxes funding international abortions)

-Attended a TEA Party

-Believe in states rights over federal power

-Are not happy about the economic state of affairs

-Are displeased with the government's handling of illegal immigration

-Support the second amendment of the Constitution (i.e. believe in gun rights)

-Are a war veteran returning from Iraq or Afghanistan

....You are considered a very possible threat by the Department of Homeland Security. Wow...Just because we care about the future of America? And the war veterans? Are you serious?! As you might imagine, the military is just a little upset with that report, and demanding the author's resignation.

So there you have it, folks. I apologize if this post was entirely uninteresting to my international readers... Let me know if it was, and I'll try to do better next time I do a political post (which won't be too often). Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading and for your comments.

BTW, tomorrow afternoon I am leaving for a couple days to go visit JBU with my dad - I'll be taking the camera along, and maybe I'll post some pictures of the campus later next week if you are interested. :) If you would, please keep me in your prayers - specifically prayers for travel safety and time management (several major assignment due dates coming up) at the moment...Thanks again!

A Giant Step

Here goes. College. How many decisions can revolve around ONE thing (and such intimidating choices sometimes)?

Over spring break some major and slightly unexpected college decisions came up. As I think I've mentioned before, I am currently taking about 6 hours in English classes from a "local" university...After a break from school in 2008, my parents thought it'd be wise for me to "ease" back into college. I've been working fairly steadily for two doctors on medical transcription, so that has more than filled in the extra time. My parents and I have had various conversations over the past few months regarding school, and what I felt like I should do with it...But until a couple of weeks ago I really didn't know. I would pray about it, beg God to show me what to do, but it didn't seem like He was answering. So I just gave up on trying to "make" it work on my own, and waited for His answer, taking it one step at a time (albeit somewhat impatiently at times).

So: Spring Break 2009. The deadline for application to a certain university my dad had mentioned was coming up; as I was not very eager to consider that particular college, he suggested that I do some research on other schools, if I was interested in transferring from the one I'm currently attending. Now, up to that point, I had not put a lot of effort into that area - I was not particularly excited about any of the universities I had heard about recently and didn't feel any strong leading from God in that direction, so I didn't want to "waste my time," so to speak. You know what I mean? So I had to wait until God moved me (though I kept busy with what He did give me to do). It was NOT easy, let me tell you! To have to trust patiently that He would move me when He was ready, and until then do something that I didn't particularly want to do (attend the local university again). Anyway, for some reason a particular acquaintance popped into my head one day and I looked up the college that they attended. I liked many aspects of it, but upon further research my dad pointed out some things that changed my mind about it. However, that sparked my dad and I to get back into searching for schools. Almost immediately he showed me one at which a family friend is now teaching - he and his family (their daughter being a friend of mine) moved there earlier this year. The more I read about it, the more I liked it. We contacted the friend (a pastor) that is teaching there, and he had a lot of positive things to say about it too...So I unexpectedly spent a good part of my spring break filling out college applications. And last week I got a call from the admissions counselor for transfer students there (I'll be transferring with approximately 45 credits or so) - I've been accepted! Not only that, but with a grade-based scholarship. :D

However, now comes the even more unexpected part. This university (John Brown University) is in Arkansas. "So?" you say? Well, it's just not what I had anticipated when considering my college plans. If you had told me a few years ago that I would be moving to Arkansas to attend college, I probably wouldn't have believed you - I thought I'd be doing college online or at least living at home and commuting. Part of the struggle has been working through that switch - I'm a planner, and like to know what's going to happen and when it's going to happen, and I don't usually like sudden changes in plans (unless it's obviously for the better). It was actually my parents who first suggested the idea that perhaps the Lord was telling them that they needed to let me go "away" for school; I don't think I would have even considered it if they hadn't brought it up. It's not going to be easy - not only leaving my family, but moving away from the town in which I have spent my entire life thus far (almost 19 years now). There have been tears shed about it, I assure you...But we all feel that the Lord is directing me to follow this path and we have a peace about it, despite the pain of separation to come. And I need to get off this subject now, before I starting crying again.

The nice thing is that I'll probably only have to be there about 2 years, maybe 3, depending on how many of my credit hours transfer. And please don't misunderstand me; though there is pain involved, I am also so very excited for what God is doing. I am extremely happy about this school and being able to attend it. From all the research I've done thus far, it's an absolutely awesome school with a wonderful Christian environment. I praise the Lord! :)

So with all that, if you would, please pray for me. There are still more decisions to be made on this topic (my major, for example), and it can be a little overwhelming to say the least. Many thanks. :)


P.S. Have any of you done any Scottish Country Dancing before? If not, you really should look into it. Some friends of ours introduced us to it a few weeks ago, and we love it - we went to one of their socials recently (put on by the local Royal Scottish Country Dancing groups) and are eagerly excited for more of them (and the ball in late summer).

Reflections

It wasn't easy to decide which photographs to post first (I have so many, and am constantly taking more)....So, in keeping with my earlier photography entry, most of the pictures in this post are from a few of the photo-shoots that I took at the pond near our house last year (the little girl is my youngest sister, and the boy 'fishing' in the fourth photo is my now nine year old brother); however, the second picture is actually the gate that leads from our backyard to the woods behind. I'm so glad I photographed that lovely, old, weather-beaten fence before it was replaced. :)

You Decide, 2009

Ok - after such a long break, I know you all deserve more than this, but frankly I've been trying to decide on what sorts of post you all prefer; sometimes I have a really strong urge to write, for example, something particularly contemplative, and sometimes I could go several completely different ways with the next post. So, in those times when I'm trying to decide which way to go, what category would you like to see more on this blog?

I didn't do a "normal" poll simply because I'd like to know who prefers what, and why. ;)

1. My photography

2. Humor (funny stories from the 'net, comic strips, etc., or amusing "everyday happenings" - Or whatever else may strike me as humorous...)

3. Politics/News/My opinion on world happenings

4. Rants (see my post on abortion) - this one's a little hard to govern, because it just "happens"

5. Reflective/contemplative/sharing of thoughts

6. "My Life" updates

7. Other (please specify if you have other ideas you'd like to see)

8. You really don't care or you like the current ratio of categories.


EDIT: LOL! Elise, really and truly, I did not read your poll until after I had written this post out! What a coincidence, though...;)